In a series of eyebrow-raising posts on her official blog, the ‘Nothing Compares 2 U’ chanteuse, 44, has made public her lack of between-the-sheets action, and quest to find “a very sweet sex-starved man.”

In a rambling piece written earlier this month, titled “Is Sinead About To Hump Her Truck?”, O’Connor writes: “I recently read of a woman in America who married and regularly humps her truck. I don’t yet own a truck but I’m beginning to understand her head space. And am worried I too may be so desperate for sex that within days I might run up the road and hump Bray Cab’s whole fleet in one hour.”

Explaining her dire situation further, the thrice-married singer adds: “My sh*t-uation sexually/affectionately speaking is so dire that inanimate objects are starting to look good as are inappropriate and/or unavailable men and/or inappropriate and/or unavailable fruits and vegetables. I tell you yams are looking like the winners.”

That’s put me right off my salad.

She continues: “Needless to say what I do for a living makes it hard for me to find men that only want me cuz they like my (legendary) arse. Yet I am in the peak of my sexual prime and way too lovely to be living like a nun. and it’s VERY depressing.”

But while she’s declared open season on her sex life, O’Connor, who announced she was a lesbian in 2000 (and later clarified the statement to Entertainment Weekly in 2005), stipulates a series of deal-breakers.

Note to applicants:

“He must be no younger than 44.

“Must be living in Ireland but I don’t care if he is from the planet Zog.

“Must not be named Brian or Nigel.

“Must be blind enough to think I’m gorgeous.

“Has to be employed. Am not fussy in what capacity generally but vehicle clampers need not apply.

“Leather trouser- wearing gardai, fire-men, rugby players, and Robert Downey-Junior will be given special consideration. As will literally anyone who applies.”

Oh, and some very important stipulations:
“I like me a hairy man so buffed and/or waxed need not apply.

“No hair gel.

“No hair dryer use.

“No hair dye.”

Also, ladies should not feel left out.

“I’ve had reasonable complaints from lesbians that they have been excluded,” writes O’Connor. “This was terribly remiss of me and I would now like to make it clear that women will also be very much considered.”

She signs off with, “I must end now as I have a hot date with a banana.”

O’Connor briefly called off her search, claiming to have found her elusive mate.

She wrote: “Search called off for now. Suitable man found.

“Filled by an extremely sweet, kind, very respectful, considerate but absolutely FILTHY minded, un-inhibited RUDE sex maniac named John. and no.. I don’t mean John Waters (ex partner and father to her daughter Brigidine).”

But the search was back on when she discovered that John had a pregnant girlfriend. Total deal-breaker. But she hasn’t given up hope, and is still taking applications.

“ALL applicants will receive replies but since there are literally hundreds of applicants, it may take a few weeks for me to respond to each one,” she adds.

But note, you “must have sweet heart and filthy mind.”

All applications are apparently being vetted by her (no doubt very busy) assistant.

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Former Two and a Half Men star Charlie Sheen went before a Los Angeles judge Tuesday seeking custody of his twin sons with estranged wife Brooke Mueller, who also attended the closed hearing.

No resolution was immediately announced. Sheen left the courthouse flanked by security and was on his way to catch a plane to Washington, DC, for a performance of his stage show.

Mueller emerged from court smiling and hugged her attorney but declined to comment.

Attorneys for both sides also refused to divulge details of the hearing.

Los Angeles Superior Court Judge Hank Goldberg sealed the hearing at the request of Mueller’s attorney, saying it was “in the best interest of the children” because of “questions of abuse and other inflammatory and emotional issues.”

Sheen arrived in court wearing a black suit, glasses and an orange tie. As the public filed out of the courtroom, Sheen gave a fist bump to a reporter in the audience.

One of his girlfriends, whom he describes as goddesses, accompanied him to court and sat on a bench outside the courtroom.

The actor and his estranged wife have sparred in recent months, with Mueller accusing Sheen of threatening her with a pen knife.

The couple reached an agreement and Mueller dropped her request for a restraining order. Sheen’s attorney, Mark Gross, said in court it was unfair that Mueller’s attorneys hadn’t sought to seal the restraining order, which detailed numerous alleged threats Sheen had made.

Gross agreed the hearing should be closed and Mueller’s attorneys called the complaint, “a dollar short and a day late.”

Sheen is in the midst of a multicity tour titled My Violent Torpedo of Truth – Defeat is Not an Option and still planned to perform Tuesday night in the nation’s capital.

In Santa Monica, Sheen’s attorneys are arguing his US$100 million (NZ$126 million) lawsuit over his firing from Men should be heard in the public courts system rather than through private arbitration as his former employer, Warner Bros. Television, wants.

Sheen’s attorneys argue an arbitration clause in his contract is unenforceable and the case should be decided by a jury if it proceeds that far.

Warner Bros. denies Sheen’s claims and in court filings stated that the actor’s contract calls for disputes to be decided by binding arbitration.

Sheen filed his lawsuit March 10, days after he was fired from television’s top-rated comedy. He is also suing Men Executive Producer Chuck Lorre, who also wants the case handled by arbitration.

Warner fired Sheen after a series of bizarre behaviour during interviews and after he vehemently criticised Lorre.

Sheen has said during his stage show that he would return to the show, which reportedly paid him US$1.8 million (NZ$2.3 million) an episode, but Warner has denied there have been discussions for Sheen’s re-hiring.

-AP

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In a statement to E! News, Duane said, “Media from around the world have been requesting interviews with me today after reports surfaced about my posting a bond for actor Nicolas Cage in New Orleans.” He continued, “I am a truly dedicated fan of Mr. Cage and will not be granting any interviews about my client as I wish to respect his privacy.”

“I performed my duties as a bail bondsman and not in connection with our show. This is what I do for a living,” the reality star added. “There are two sides of my job: I release my clients after they have been arrested; and pick them up if they don’t show up in court. I do not believe the latter will be the case for Mr. Cage.”

In a related news, TMZ has obtained the surveillance video that captures Nic and his wife Alice Kim arguing inside the tattoo shop. In the clip, the 47-year-old actor is seen walking with his arms around two friends and holding a clear plastic cup before entering the parlor. Once he was inside, his wife came in following and the two got engaged in a heated conversation.

In a statement of Nic’s arrest, the New Orleans Police Department informed E! News, “Cage and his wife were standing in front of a residence that he insisted was the property the couple was renting. She disagreed, and Cage grabbed her by the upper arm and pulled her to what he believed was the correct address. There were no signs of injury on his wife’s arm.”

“The actor then began striking vehicles and later attempted to get into a taxi. At that point, an officer who had been flagged down by onlookers drove up on the couple, immediately observed that Cage was heavily intoxicated and ordered him out of the cab, which prompted Cage to start yelling. The officers subsequently took Cage to Central Lock-up.”

Nic is scheduled to appear in court May 31 stemming from the incident. It was reported that his wife insisted she does not want to press charges and there was no physical contact.

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A few hours later, Charlie was hospitalized because he “had an adverse allergic reaction to some medication,” his rep tells Us. The troubled actor, 45, “is expected to be released tomorrow.”

Earlier reports state otherwise. Accordingly, Charlie was said to be found naked and intoxicated in a trashed NYC hotel suite. Reportedly, Charlie told police he was “out partying” and hotel security at the posh Plaza Hotel called 911 shortly after 2 a.m.

The day before, we saw Denise, Charlie and the girls at American Girl Place.

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Photos: INFdaily.com

Taylor Momsen on stage

When performing with her band The Pretty Reckless at an Express and Paper magazine event, the 17-year-old star lowered her top and showed off her boobs to live audience.

Taylor Momsen has surely gotten all the attention she wanted when she showed off way more than fans anticipated during her live performance with her band The Pretty Reckless in New York on Thursday, October 21. When spitting her verses, the “Gossip Girl” star lowered her top, flashing audience her breasts.

Momsen, who was at that time donned a skimpy black top, thigh-high stockings and sky-high platform shoes, bared her assets with nothing but little pasties to cover them in a quick flash. The performance, which was part of an after-party for Rock the Sidewalk, an Express and Paper magazine event, will likely stir controversy as Momsen is still 17 years old.

Though so, Momsen might not really mind about it after all. Earlier this year, the actress/singer said, “To be honest, I don’t f**king care. I didn’t get into this to be a role model. So I’m sorry if I’m influencing your kids in a way that you don’t like, but I can’t be responsible for their actions. I don’t care.” She even recently told Bullet magazine that she sees herself as “totally insane” and “totally out of my mind.”

Meanwhile, child and family psychologist, Dr. Jeff Gardere, gave his explanation over Momsen’s “ridiculous” action. “I think it’s totally inappropriate that she flashed her boobs on stage. And it will hurt her career when she goes from the sublime to the ridiculous. We might no longer be laughing with her but at her,” he told Hollywood Life.

“Taylor is endangering her future career, but more importantly she could be endangering her own physical safety, by exposing her breasts and groping herself. What turned -on fan is going to jump her or stalk her?” Gardere added.

As for Momsen’s I-don’t-f**king-care remark, Gardere said, “For every celebrity that says you don’t want to be a role model, I wish someone could step in and say, then let’s give your fame to someone who is more responsible!”

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Lindsay Lohan out of rehab

The troubled star exited the Betty Ford Center on October 21 and will face another hearing the next day during when judge will decide whether she will be sent to rehab or jail.

Lindsay Lohan now can have a better night rest compared to the one she had in rehabilitation center. According to TMZ, the 24-year-old troubled actress left the Betty Ford Center in Rancho Mirage, California on Thursday night, October 21 after spending 24 days in the facility.

Lindsay checked herself into the sober living house on September 27 after failing her court-ordered drug tests. The “Confessions of a Teenage Drama Queen” star is due to face L.A. Superior Court Judge Elden Fox on Friday, October 22 at 8:30 A.M.

The hearing will determine whether Lindsay will be sent back to rehab or go to jail for violating her probation by failing the drug tests. During that time, the actress was told to spend a month in prison but she walked free after posting $300,000 bail before checking herself into the facility days later.

Fellow stars have sent their best wishes to Lindsay as she struggled with her drug demons. After Snooki and Mark Wahlberg, now Elton John has sent his. Talking to the Daily Star, the pop legend said, “Lindsay needs to go away to somewhere like Hazelden in Minnesota which is a kind of boot camp.”

And if Lindsay really wants to fight her drug issue, she shouldn’t enter “treatment centers which have televisions and swimming pools. That’s not the way you do it. That’s pampering.” Elton added, “You have to ask for help. And you have to be ready for it, you have to surrender to it and ask for help and accept help and get rid of the people who are around you.”

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Lisa Marie Presley Interview

For the first time ever, Lisa Marie Presley has finally agreed to open up about her ex-husband Michael Jackson after more than 15 months of his death. In a recent interview, which was recorded at her home in England, with Oprah Winfrey, Lisa admitted that she regretted she didn’t try harder to save Michael.

“I know it’s naive to think that I could’ve, but I wanted to,” Lisa said on “The Oprah Winfrey Show” aired on Thursday, October 21. “Had I made a call, had I stopped being so shut off from him, had I just said ‘How are you?’ I really regret that I didn’t.” Lisa, however, believed Michael’s death was inevitable, saying “I think that was a train heading in a certain direction that no one could have stopped. I’ve had to really get my head around that in order to stop the pain.”

Lisa went on saying that it took his death to make her realize Michael had loved her. “I didn’t understand my relationship with him. It has taken until now to come to have all this love again and understanding for him. I don’t know why it had to take all that to have this happen. That upsets me a bit. I was very angry. I was so angry… I felt that we were so united, and then at some point he pushed me out.”

Lisa also admitted that she was shocked people ever thought their marriage was not a real deal. “To some degree, he was a master at manipulating the media,” Lisa explained. “I understand that nobody really knew who I was. They just assumed I was going along with something he would be doing… I understand it better now. The manipulation was a survival tactic for him.”

From her wedding ceremony in 1994, Lisa revealed that Michael always urged her to have a baby. “I did want to, but I just wanted to make sure. I was looking into the future and thinking, ‘I don’t ever want to get into a custody battle with him’,” she recalled. “We would have three-day arguments, taking a break to eat or sleep,” she continued, adding that Michael “really tried” to make their relationship work at times but she “didn’t appreciate it then.”

Two months after her divorce from Michael was finalized in 1996, she learned that Debbie Rowe was expecting his child, calling it a “retaliatory” act. “He would tell me, ‘Debbie said she’ll do it.’ That’s how he knew to handle it, ‘If you’re not going to do it, this person will’,” Lisa recalled.

Admitting that their last “coherently good” conversation was in 2005, Lisa shared, “I was very distant… He was asking me, he wanted to tell me that I was right about a lot of people around him. And he asked if I still loved him… I told him I was indifferent and he didn’t like that word. He cried.”

“And the final part of the conversation was him telling me that someone was going to try and kill him to get a hold of his catalog and estate. And I really didn’t know what to do with that,” she disclosed. As for Michael’s charm for her, Lisa said, “He was like a drug for me. I always wanted to be around him. I never felt like that feeling with another human being except for one – my father.”

On Michael’s death, on June 25, 2009, Lisa told Oprah that she was crying all day for no reason. Her tears stopped when she got a text message from John Travolta. Lisa recalled, “Actually, John Travolta was one of the first texts I got, asking, ‘Are you all right?’ ”

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The insider continued to add, “That’s how ridiculous [the story] is.” The site claimed Pitt and Jolie are currently spending time in Los Angeles with their children, 8-year-old Maddox, 6-year-old Pax, 5-year-old Zahara, 3 year-old Shiloh, and their 18-month twins, Vivienne and Knox.

Affirming that Pitt and Jolie never intend to go their separate ways, a source told NYDailyNews.com that the stars of “Mr and Mrs Smith” indeed met Los Angeles lawyers just to cover their $330 million assets. The source said, “They aren’t married, so they need to protect their children and property in case there’s a rift in the future.”

“People hear ‘legal papers’ and assume it means a divorce,” the source added. “But it could mean exactly the opposite. Either way, they’re making sure to get their ducks in a row, which they’ll need whether they split or stay together forever.”

Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie’s relationship was said on the rock after London’s News of the World claimed the couple met divorce lawyers. The break-up report also swirled after the pair, who has dated since 2005, didn’t attend recent award programs, including the 67th Annual Golden Globes Awards and the 16th Annual Screen Actor Guild Awards.

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The couple apparently flew to the Bacara Resort & Spa outside of Santa Barbara, California, via helicopter for a private cliff-top ceremony overlooking the Pacific Ocean.

‘We want to do it every year,’ Josh tells ET Online. ‘We got the idea from Heidi Klum and Seal.

‘[Fergie]‘s like, “I want to do that!”. I thought it was a great idea and why not?’

Following the 15-minute service, Fergie, 34, and Josh, 37, are said to have headed to the resort’s Miro restaurant for a romantic dinner before returning to LA.

‘They were both dressed nicely and walked right out to the bluff outside the hotel where weddings often take place,’ an onlooker tells RadarOnline.

‘A minister was waiting for them. Fergie was crying and seemed very emotional.’

The Black Eyed Peas singer and the Transformers actor first wed in Malibu on 10 January 2009.

In November, Josh strongly denied allegations he’d slept with stripper Nicole Forrester.

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